Jeopardy Parody
by Trigger1
Summary: Huh? Tai from Digimon, Mario from SMB, and Link from LoZ seem to have landed on a game show with Alex Trebek! What's going to happen next?


Jeopardy  
  
(Edited Version of Original by pichu ^_~)  
  
*Funky Game Music*  
  
1st Announcer :: Welcome to Jeopardy! And now your host! Wait…what's his name again?  
  
2nd Announcer :: How could you forget his name!?! You've said this stupid line over a million times!  
  
1st Announcer :: Sorry…  
  
3rd Announcer :: *chews on donut* Did I miss something?  
  
2nd Announcer :: @#$%! Now this time for sure we're scrubin' the toilets!  
  
Director :: Listen, fellas…let's just take two.  
  
Announcers [All] :: *puts a thumb up*  
  
1st Announcer :: Welcome to Jeopardy! And now---WAIT! What's my line again?  
  
Everyone [besides 1st Announcer] :: *smacks themselves on the forehead*  
  
Director :: Let's just ignore that line…  
  
Alex :: *walks in and waves to audience*  
  
Audience :: *snores*  
  
Alex :: *coughs*  
  
Audience :: *applauds*  
  
Alex :: Hello, and welcome to Jeopardy! Now, how about we meet our panel?  
  
Tai :: *walks out from a portal to the Digital World*  
  
Tai :: Sup, Alex?  
  
Mrs. Kamiya :: Tai! Show the host some respect! Call him by his last name! *sits down*  
  
Tai :: Uh…sorry, Mister Trebeck…  
  
Alex :: Apology accepted, Tai. And now for our second guest star!  
  
Link :: *falls from the sky and crashes through the ceiling* AHHH! Huh? Where in Farore's name am I?  
  
Alex :: We have Link from the Legend of Zelda [TV show]!  
  
Tai :: Oh, no! Not YOU again!  
  
Link :: AHHH! *falls off stool and gets back on [barely]* What is HE doing here!?!  
  
Alex :: Calm down boys, this isn't the Jerry Springer Show [yet].  
  
Mario :: *warps from a green pipe* Heya! What am I ya' doin' 'ere?  
  
Alex :: Your mama isn't here? What?  
  
Tai :: *thinks to self* Why did mine have to be?  
  
Link :: *thinks to self* I don't even have a mama…wait…what the hell is a mama?  
  
Mario :: NO NO! What am I ya' doin' 'ere!?!  
  
Alex :: Your llama hurt his ear?  
  
Mario :: …  
  
Tai and Link :: NEVERMIND!  
  
Alex :: Oh well…here's our third panelist! Mario from Super Mario Bros.  
  
Mario :: Wow! Heya…what is a panelist?  
  
Alex :: *ignores comment* Now, on to the topics! Today we have ::  
  
*BLING!* DigiBloopers  
  
*BLING!* The Worst Heroes in Hyrule  
  
*BLING!* Where in the Warp Pipe?  
  
*BLING!* Songs of Stupidity  
  
*BLING!* Wow! A Topic!  
  
Alex :: Okay, Tai! You won the coin toss, so you can go first!  
  
Sora :: *thinks to self* So that's how they choose who's first…  
  
Link :: Wait a sec! What coin toss! Heck…what's a COIN!  
  
Alex :: Never you worry, you'll find out once it lands…IF it lands…*has a flashback of Wargreymon tossing the coin into outer space* Anyway…let's begin!  
  
Mario :: Heya! I ya gotz a coin! *pulls it out of pocket* OOO! Chocolate!  
  
Everyone [besides Mario] :: *looks at Mario and teardrops form around their heads*  
  
Tai :: *breaks the silence* I'll pick DigiBloopers for 300!  
  
Alex :: Okay, which Digidestined made the most mistakes ever recorded in DigiWorld history?  
  
Link :: *presses button and his stand lights up*  
  
Mario :: Wow! Did you a see that light thingy go WOO HOO!?!  
  
Link :: *takes shield and whacks Mario across the face with it*  
  
Tai :: Homerun!  
  
Link :: *takes a bow*  
  
Alex :: So…what's the answer, Link?  
  
Link :: What is Tai?  
  
Tai :: Yeah, right! I don't make mistakes! It's Matt who does!  
  
Matt :: We'll see who it really is!  
  
Alex :: Link is absolutely correct!  
  
Tai :: What the!?!  
  
Matt :: Told you so!  
  
Tai :: Shut up!  
  
Matt and Tai :: *beats the crap out of the other*  
  
Link :: Get him good for me, will ya?  
  
Alex :: Okay, Link you get to pick now!  
  
Link :: *looks at the screens*  
  
Mario :: *gets back up* Wow! There are a lot of a TVs! I wonder if Thee Super Mario Super Show will a come a on!  
  
Agumon :: *uses pepper breath on Mario*  
  
Mario :: WAHHHH! *jumps in the air*  
  
Link :: Miyamoto should rename him Moronio.  
  
Tai :: He's kind of your brother, ya know…  
  
Mario :: Heya! I ya gotz a new a brotha!  
  
Link :: Whoa! Dude, don't get ANY ideas from that porcupine!  
  
Tai :: Who ya callin' a porcupine!  
  
Tai and Link :: *starts beating the crap out of the opponent*  
  
Mario :: OOO! When is it a my a turn?  
  
Alex :: Since they're both unconscious on the floor, I'll take it that you can go…  
  
Mario :: Oh, goody! I'll a choose…mushroom!  
  
Alex :: No no no, Mario! You choose one of those topics up on the TV screens! *points his note cards desperately at the blue monitors*  
  
Mario :: OH! Now I a get it!  
  
Alex :: *thinks to self* This is worse than an LD classroom.  
  
Mario :: I'll a choose…*tries to read screen, but fails miserably* S…oooo…n—  
  
Alex :: Looks like someone needs Hooked on Phonics! Just dial 1-800- ABCDEFG! And tell them Alex sent you.  
  
Mario :: Okie dokie! *grabs phone and dials* Wait…there are no a letters on a da phone!  
  
Everyone [besides Mario] :: *teardrops once again*  
  
Link :: *gets up from the K.O.* Did I miss anything?  
  
Tai :: *rubs head and sits on stool* Arggg…  
  
Alex :: NO! Nothing at all!  
  
Mario :: I dun get it!  
  
Link :: *grabs a roll of Hyrulian duct tape and slams it on Mario's mouth* There ya go!  
  
Alex :: Continuing on…it's your turn, Link.  
  
Link :: *grabs his English translator and chooses a topic* I'll go with, Songs of Stupidity for 500.  
  
Alex :: Name the song that //\\//*Stink first sang on television.  
  
Mario :: *rips duct tape off mouth* MAMA MIA!  
  
Tai :: Here we go again…  
  
Mario :: What is Die Die Die?  
  
Alex :: That is ABSOLUTELY…wrong…  
  
Tai :: *presses buzzer* What is Mickey Mouse March?  
  
Alex :: That is absolutely correct! Believe it or not, but Justin of //\\//*Stink was a mouseketeer! Your turn to choose, Tai.  
  
Tai :: Okay, I choose…  
  
Pikachu :: *jumps on Tai's podium* PIKA!  
  
Tai :: No! I didn't say Pikachu!  
  
Pikachu :: *tears form in eyes* Chu… *shocks Tai*  
  
Tai :: Arg!!! *fries and falls off stool…again* *gets back up moments later and crawls onto seat* I'll…pick…The Worst…Heroes…of Hyrule for 200, please. *falls*  
  
Alex :: Which so-called HERO went to save the Triforce, but instead stole a bow and some arrows from a bazaar.  
  
Link :: *hides* Gee…I wonder who THAT could be?  
  
Mario :: Okay, I a admit it! I stole a mushroom from a Princess Peach's Castle!  
  
Luigi :: Mario, you idiot! Why did you say that?  
  
Mario :: Oopsie!  
  
Peach :: Mario! I thought I could trust you!  
  
Mario :: But I was a hungary!  
  
Peach :: *grabs Mario by his half ripped off mustache due to the duct tape and drags him off the stage*  
  
Tai :: Well, that took care of him.  
  
Alex :: *after the bell beeps* Time's up! The answer was…Link!  
  
Tai :: HAHA! Thief! Link is a cheap rip off of a thief!  
  
Link :: Am not!  
  
Bazaar Owner :: So, it WAS you! I'll teach you never to steal from my shop again! *throws a giant lightning bolt at Link*  
  
Link :: AHHHHH!  
  
Alex :: Okay…final question. Write down your wager and your answer.  
  
Link :: *getting up after a fairy bottle breaks open* I hope Tai wagers all his rupees and gets it wrong!  
  
Tai :: What the hell are rupees?  
  
Link :: Wait…where am I again?  
  
1st Announcer :: This is Jeopardy!  
  
Link :: Uh…thanks…  
  
Alex :: Okay, here's the question: Who wants to be a millionaire?  
  
Tai :: Hmm…I know this one!  
  
Alex :: We'll be right back after this commercial break!  
  
[pic]  
  
Sponsor :: Do you hate it when you're caught in the middle of those cliffhangers and you can't wait for those 5 minutes of commercials to be over! Well all you have to do is ZAP it! Just press this button, and wa- lah! Here's a look at some of our well satisfied customers ::  
  
[pic]  
  
Yes! In the blink of an eye, they just…disappear! All for the price of $19.950000000001! And to order, all you need to do is call this number that I'm about to repeat to you 5 times! Yes, 5 WHOLE DAMN TIMES! Here I go!  
  
Call 1-800-555-5ZAP, 1-800-555-5ZAP, that's 1-800-555-5ZAP, 1-800-555-5ZAP! Sorry no COD's, remember that number is 1-800-555-5ZAP.  
  
Alex :: Welcome back! Now, let's see what our panel has for us today!  
  
Mario :: Did I a get it?  
  
Alex :: Where did you come from?  
  
Mario :: I dunno…I just a showed a up!  
  
Alex :: Just let me see what you have…*reads what Mario wrote down* 'What is New Mexico?' That is wrong, Mario…I'm so sorry.  
  
Mario :: Aww! I a missed!  
  
Alex :: And you wagered…your underpants!?! Uh…let's just say you got it correct.  
  
Mario :: Hehe! I a got it!  
  
Alex :: Now, let's see what Tai and Link have.  
  
Link :: *holds up answer so Alex can only see*  
  
Alex :: Let's see—  
  
News Broadcaster :: Welcome to another Channel 23 ½ Special Report! Bill Clinton and his dog would like to have a word or two with you about the happenings on September 11th.  
  
Bill :: Hello my fellow Americans. Yes, even though I am not your president at the moment, doesn't mean you need to be scared of those Afghan bastards. We need to learn to appreciate the other countries, for even though they hate our sorry asses, they're still human beings. Isn't that right, Pogo?  
  
Pogo :: JUMP! BOUNCE! BOUNCE! JUMP! POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO!  
  
News Broadcaster :: This has been a Channel 23 ½ Special Report!  
  
Alex :: Thank you, for watching Jeopardy! I'm Alex Trebeck! Join us next time for our special edition of 'Whore Jeopardy' [special guests :: Britney Spears, Madonna, and Bill Gates] only on ABC!  
  
Tai and Link :: *start fighting*  
  
Link :: Die you little squirt!  
  
Tai :: Die you BIGWHOOPASS sword freak!  
  
Mario :: Heya! Don't forget a me a!  
  
The End???  
  
:: CREDITS ::  
  
"JUMP! BOUNCE! BOUNCE! JUMP! POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO POGO!"  
  
~ System of a Down – Bounce  
  
Link and Mario-related characters are © of Nintendo.  
  
Digimon-related characters are © of Bandai.  
  
Jeopardy is © by…Jeopardy?  
  
And last but not least…Chrono Trigger is © of Squaresoft Inc. 


End file.
